May 27, 2008

A Pint-Sized problem

This new Mike Myers movie is coming out. The Love Guru I believe it's called. Anyway, there's the preview where Myers asks the little person if he'd like some shrimp and the guy gets offended.

It has come to my attention that every movie I can think of that has a midget in it contains some sort of pun regarding the size of the person. By the way, if midget is politically incorrect, I'm sorry, but it's just me conveying my point.

Elf: The midget is a business man who gets called and elf.

Me, Myself, And Irene: The black limo driver gets offended when Jim Carrey refers to "his people." I'm pretty sure he's talking about Limo Drivers. Anyway, the midget gets offended, one for being a midget, the other for being black.

Austin Powers 2&3: Mini-Me gets loads of crap for being small. And look at the name. Mini?!

Furthermore, there are "reality" shows about midget families and the lives they live.

I'd just like to see this conversation in a show:

Dan: Hey Jerry, did you close the account?
Jerry: Yeah, major pay boost.
Dan: Awesome. I'm outta here man, I'll see you tomorrow.
Jerry: All right, you too.

One of those two is a midget. No mention of him being one! Maybe in a more perfect world.

December 10, 2007

Death is Depressing (And Many More... on Channel Four)

So I just got done listening to the latest SModcast (yes, the same thing my fellow Blogger fell in love with this summer. I'm addicted now too). They spent a decent chunk of time discussion what they would do if they found out they had 48 hours left to grieve. Being who they are, it got into some random shit, but it was still a rather depressing topic.

The very concept of death scares the shit out of me. I'm still on the fence about the whole religion thing, but what happens to me after I die will not be a deciding factor. When I was about 10, I cried for about half an hour cause the idea of living forever, even in heaven, terrified me to no end. It still does. But the idea that you die and that's the end of our conscious being isn't much better.  That's some heavy shit for me.

And for whatever reason this keeps popping into my head as of late. It's probably the most depressing thing I could think about, and it keeps pushing its way in these last couple weeks for whatever reason. I always tell myself, "You're only 20, get the hell over it. You're supposed to be scared, its a long way off." But at the same time it's been really hard for me to get my head around the fact that I'm no longer a teenager (As of 4 hours ago. Happy Birthday to me!!!!). Life is coming up fast.

I've been waiting my whole life to get out there and be my own person on my own terms. I don't want to leave my mark on the history of the world. I just want to enjoy life.

Maybe it's cause I've never been allowed to grow up gradually like a normal kid. I tend to get huge doses of reality shoved at me all at once, forcing me to grow up early and fast, and then lock into that for a while. Suddenly I can understand more clearly why people want male children to pass on the family name, why people panic about not having accomplished what they wanted in life yet, that sort stuff. I'm having an early mid-life crisis. So more of a quarter-life crisis.

People around me tend to wave off twenty. "Oh, 21 is the important one." Just cause I can't legally consume alcohol now, doesn't mean 21 is gonna be a big deal. That shouldn't be a news flash to most. Twenty for me is more of a milestone in the same way 40 is. It's a mile marker. An even 1/4. The end of childhood quarter. I'm 25% done with life (assuming all goes as expected). Perspective is an odd thing, huh.

Here's the next twenty years, I guess. Probably my most productive. And here's to dreams. Both the ones I'm about to have, and the ones I'm about to try and achieve.

P.S. Being legal in Indiana strip clubs is a bigger deal than alcohol. I'm legal now in Kentucky, though.

September 8, 2007

The iPod Touch is MINE!!!

UPDATE: Finally shipped!!!!

That's right. Apple has announced the iPod Touch. It's essentially an iPhone without the microphone, speakers, and phone capabilities. The iPod comes with build in WiFi, Safari, Addresses, Calendar and all the other goodies we've come to love.

It gets better. Reportedly, the applications on the iPod touch are the "same damn binaries" as those running on the iPhone. This means that all those wonderful third-party iPhone apps will require little to no iPod touch translation. I'm sure it won't be long until there are full-featured webmail apps, VoIP (if there's ever a microphone attachment) and wonderful touch-screen games.

Apparently there's also rumblings that the new version of Xcode contains hints at an official iPhone and iPod touch SDK. That would open the floodgates and make the iPod touch an amazing PDA that happens to be damn good at playing movies and music.

Best news is, I'm getting one!! As a present from my wonderful girlfriend, and brand new iPod touch is being shipped out when the first wave hits consumers near the end of the month.
I couldn't be more excited. Reviews to come.

July 20, 2007

I HATE rich text editors

I have wasted hours of my life thanks to the "convenience" of text editors that allow you to post formatted text online without learning a lick of HTML. Here's why they suck.

1. Limited usefulness

It sounds great, doesn't it. You can finally put yourself out there on the web without having to learn any coding. WOOT! . Ok, now how can I change those bullets from circles to squares. Hmmmmm. What?!? It's not possible and/or easy in the rich text editor of your choice? Well with the power of HTML and CSS, I can change those boring circles into Batman logos. Rich text editor ain't got shit on that.

2. The temptation

Confession time: I'm using a rich text editor right now. It looks so convenient. "I'm SURE it'll work fine this time." So easy to align text and pictures, change fonts, make things bold and add links. That's what you think. Unlike the (usually) intuitave behavior of Word and other document editors, rich text editors still define their styles in the background with .html, which is NOT a formatting language. This often leads to erratic behavior and frustrating situations where what you're telling it to do, and what it does are two completely different things. This is because of #3.

3. They suck at writing .html

One of the advantages of using a rich text editor is that you can see your visual styles and changes before you post it. You can switch fonts until you find what you like and sometimes even copy text from Word and paste it, leaving the exact styling intact. Try editing text copied from word, particularly lists. It's usually a bitch. That's because the text editor tries to copy exactly what you gave it, with no regard for intent or often more concise methods. That's why, even though I'm using a rich text editor, I'm editing the HTML. I'm making things bold with >strong<, and adding my own links though the HTML. This ensures I get only the code I want, and it's easy to change on a whim.

4. They suck at writing .html

No, that wasn't an accident. I wrote it twice. Cause this is another problem coming from the same reason. Look at the code below. This is code created by a rich text editor in a real-life situation (my job). See if you can find the actual text. Now see how many different fonts you can see.

<p class="MsoNormal" style="MARGIN: 0in 0in 0pt 1in; TEXT-INDENT: -0.25in"><span ><span ><span >1.<span style="FONT: 7pt 'Times New Roman'; font-size-adjust: none; font-stretch: normal"></span></span></span><span ><span >>Overtime pay for all billable hours worked</span> <span >over forty(40)hours in a work wee</span>k<?xml:namespace prefix = o /><<o:p></o:p></span></span></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="MARGIN: 0in 0in 0pt 1in; TEXT-INDENT: -0.25in"><span ><span ><span >2.<span style="FONT: 7pt 'Times New Roman'; font-size-adjust: none; font-stretch: normal"> </span></span></span></span><<span ><span >Recruiting bonus @ $1,000.00 per each new hire, minimum ninety (90) day </span><span >hire<o:p></o:p></span></span></p><p></p>

Now, all that, produces the following.

  1. Overtime pay for all billable hours worked over (40) hours in a work week.
  2. Recruiting bonus @ $1000.00 per each new hire, minimum ninety (90) day hire.

That's it. And I did it using three tags: define the font style, declare a list, declare each list item. Point made.

5. They lead to stupid people getting blogs

I'm not saying this means if you don't know HTML or don't use HTML, you're stupid and don't deserve a blog. I'm just saying is one of the most trafficed websites on the internet. You can't tell me I'm the only one who finds that sad.

SPECIAL: 6. They can't interpret .html

This one is special cause I wasn't going to write it until I tried to post this. Most rich text editors come with the option to view and edit the raw HTML. WOOHOO! Something they do right. What? The fuck that up too? SHIT!

When I put HTML code into the "edit Html" section, I expect what comes out to be EXACTLY what I put in. I can forgive some formatting that applies to the general text such as colors that are explicitly defined in the CSS that comes with the template. But interpreting my hard returns as a <br /> or <p> is just wrong. Particularly when it only does that part of the time, not every time.

July 2, 2007


For all you Kevin Smith fans out there, I recently discovered the wonderful thing known as the SModcast. Each one is about an hour long and consists of Kevin and his producer Scott Mosier talking about whatever comes to their minds. Needless to say, it is extremely funny. Check it out here. You can scroll down and listen to all of them from that page.

Personally, I think this is a great idea and I wouldn't mind having something similar of my own... Something to think about.

Blame the iPhone...and iPod Racism

Alright, I've got a couple things here at the moment I want to ponder.

First. Here I am, writing on a blog open for the public to read. Where's my damn iPhone. Gizmodo got like 12. So did Engadget. Show some love, send me an iPhone. And the money to pay for the plan.

Second, a short story. Apple yesterday released a firmware update for the SuperDrive (aka CD/DVD drive). But there was a glitch. If you installed more than one update at a time, the install process dialog for the firmware was hidden. So I do my software update with the firmware and iTunes 7.3 (damn iPhone). It gets done, and I had just re-set up XP so I could play Neverwinter Nights 2. Right after I hit restart, a little window pops up that says "You're firmware is being updated. Do not restart while in progress." Progress bar is at 60%, but it's far too late now. My computer shuts down, and my DVD drive is now a bricked. It won't even pretend to accept discs. And every bit of info I've found says the only cure is to get a new drive.

Which brings me to my question. Doesn't it seem odd that a software problem could render hardware permanently useless? I mean, since it was software that messed up, there should be a software fix. Just putting in a second identical drive should yield the same results? I have perfectly good hardware, slightly messed up software, yet it's the hardware that needs replaced. Discuss.

Finally, this is just funny. I would to. What would each color mean (besides white = racist).

June 26, 2007

Get a life!

So, yesterday evening I was sitting around after work, extremely bored as usual. I've been juggling several ideas for things to do in my off time. My schedule, in a time sense, is work roughly 6 hours, sleep 6-8 hours, and then roughly 10-12 hours of free time. Last night, because I was so bored, I went bed at 7. Yes, 7 p.m. I woke up around 2 a.m., put on my pajamas, turned on a fan, and fell right back to sleep to wake up at 6 am. I wake up this early in order to go running but did I this morning? No.

Mon-Wednesday I get a 3 hour break between shifts and I used to go to the gym. However, I feel like a tool going to the gym by myself and not being able to lift a lot. I enjoy going to the pool with my friend to learn to swim, but she's busy most of the time. I would spend more time at movies or something but I'm trying to conserve money for a ticket out of here for a week.

So, July comes up in a few days and if I put all of my willpower into it, I can truly do something different all month. But, let's be realistic here. Using the same time tables as before regarding work schedule and sleep then nixing ideas like "get another job" (no one wants to hire for just a month) let's look at what I've got.

Sleep-6 Hours
Work-6 Hours
Free Time - 12 Hours
If I were to go to the gym for an hour a day(alternate exercises so I don't die), swim an hour a day, read for an hour a day (I can only take so much reading at a time), study both spanish and japanese for an hour a day, and then watch an hour's worth of TV what am I looking at? 6 more hours of time to waste! And I can't take sitting on the computer all day and let's be honest, I doubt I'm going to study my spanish and japanese each for an hour... It's summer. Who wants to do that? Please, give me suggestions for things to take up time that cost no money.